On The Purchase of Renoise

I have no idea why buying a sound editing program would excite me so much, but fuck if it doesn't. I mean...now I can finally get all these beats out of my head and into the world. It's a rather odd feeling, because there's also a bit of...melancholy too. I mean now I feel like I am coming into adult-hood, with the purchase of this tool with which I shall make my bread. It's odd.

Home Again, Home Again

So, for anyone who has been wondering, I haven't been able to get at a computer for a very long time to update this little corner of the web I call my home. But fret not, because I've got stuff incoming.

Stay tuned.

The Night and the Soul

Why is that the night makes us different creatures? I mean, I've had more deep conversations with people at night than in the day. At night we seem to loosen our collars as a soceity. Think about it, how would anything we did in the night fly at day. What about the night turns us into more primal creatures? I don't know why, but I like people at night better than during the day.

I mean...being with friends at night seems more real than hanging with friends durring the day. You get to bond more, you say stuff you wouldn't normally say. Even if you don't drink, you still seem more primal and raw and real at night. Is it the moon? Is it the air?

I honestly don't know, do you?

Some Thoughts

You know...I'm really fucking glad that I didn't have the Internet back when I was 15, even though I could have. I mean, you look at people like Chris-chan and others of his ilk along with others, and I realize that when I was a youngun I would have done the same fucking thing. And that scares me a wee bit, and it makes me glad that I never did that. I have retarded videos of me doing retarded things, but thankfully I never uploaded that shit to Youtube. I realize I could have become interwebz infamous for being a total fucking idiot, and that has a certain...something to it, but shit I am glad I never did it. There is a certain something to being famous on the Internet and having my own group of trolls, fans(which I never would have gotten), and gawkers to watch as I kept being an idiot. But also I could have never grown as a human if I hadn't recorded those stupid shit, mainly because I watch that shit and I realize how much I've grown.

And that's about it.

A Poem A Day

I've been getting in the habit of posting a poem a day, I dunno why, but for some reason it's very...what's the word? I'd say theraputic but...eh...those words don't feel right. I'd say it's much more about...well...keeping moving. I'm trying to write a poem a day to stay with it and to not let my poetics atrophy like they have been doing. Who knows? I might just swing being a poet after all!

Also I think I may get into the habit of posting here erryday, just to do so and to somehow rack up views and maybe even get a couple of new followers!

We'll see though!

That's all for now, peace out!

Night Thougts

It's kinda funny...I always was able to find Orion in the night sky. Hell, it was the most constant and beautiful thing in my life at the time. Now Scorpio is easy to find, perhaps because it has just taken up Orion's vacated place in their eternal struggle. Or maybe it's something to do with me and how my outlook on life has changed that I can now locate Scorpio easier. Most normal people probably don't think the way I do, most people see the stars as stars and leave it be there. But I think it must hold some personal meaning.

I've been sitting on my balcony thinking about the interconnectedness of all things too, and sometimes it's kinda mind-blowing. I mean, I am connected to the trees, the car two spaces away, the refugee in a war torn area of the world, the rich business man, the horrible tyrant, all of it. I am connected to it all and it is all connected to me. Sometimes that fucking blows my mind, sometimes I get depressed, and most of the time it's what gets me to sleep at night. Is that strange? That I can only sleep when I contemplate the meaning of things which intrinsically have no meaning? Fuck I don't know.

It's amazing the things we do to find meaning in a world that has none. I've poured my own personal meaning out there, and things start to look like I might be headed down that path. I might just yet make music and write for a living. That'd be fucking awesome, and maybe the one person reading this will say "Shit I knew him when he was just an angsty little snot-nosed twenty-something". I'll never forget you reader(s). Hell, I've seen people comment on my blog, awesome people. I just wanna thank those people now, so that I don't forget this feeling of gratitude. Thank you. Thank you more than you'll ever know.

Darker Poetics

Here's two of my poems, one about remembering when I used to cut myself, and one about black metal. Both slightly darker than "Sunrise Library" but fuck writing happy poems all the time. Sometimes you need to get all depressive and dark up ins.

A Meditation on Self-Mutilation(Past Memories Dredged)
by poetpunk
2012 April 16 12:24:27

A self hate
that cannot be denied
a body
that is
internally reviled,

Why not pierce this
wretched skin
and watch the
truth of blood?

Why not see if
this horrid form
still has blood to bleed?

Or has the blackened remains
of a heart long lost
stopped the pumping of
the true redness of being?

Has my soul
stagnated?

Has my spirit
no longer moved
or is it no longer true?

To tear the flesh
seems the only
rational action
from this irrational mind,

And yet it's funny
it's not the actual
blade breaking skin
that is pain,

Rather it's the
very anticipation of the act
the act of holding the blade
above the skin
that causes the most pain,

And even after
there is no
validation
beyond the fact
that I still feel pain
that I still bleed,

How pointless
this act of self-violence
how pointless too
is this self hate,

I've long since
discarded the actions
and the scars too are gone
but the hate remains still,

coiled like a viper
ready to strike
when my guard is low
and when there is no moon
in the night sky.

And boom, here's this here poem about black metal!


Corpse Children Arise
by poetpunk
2012 April 16 11:27:22

From crypts and caves
of our own culture
we have been entombed,

But hear the call
stand now my fellows,
for as this current
monoculture rots
in the throes of mediocrity
we still remember,

We remember the power
we remember the pure despair
and we remember the call
but did we heed it
my comrades
in corpse-painted arms?

We are no Lost Forgotten Sad Spirits
nor will we fade into the
Funeral Fog,

We must remember
"the strength that lies in contemplation"
and stand tall
even though we may be
"Shit out of luck"
and we shouldn't "give a fuck"
"This is the life we choose/We are the road dogs form Hell",

Fellow corpse children arise
because after those aeons
when death has died
we'll inherit the earth
and ride the tides
back home to where we belong,

This world is not for us
but shall we make it
into our own image?

Shall we make our
bleak and rotted sign
upon the world
and break the chains
of tyrannical mainstream
laws of music?

Storm the walls
break the gates
show them
we shan't wait,

Can't you see it
brothers and sisters?
This Blaze in the Northern Sky?

It's call must be heeded
we must break
These Years of Silent Sorrow
and ride once more,

Our message must be heard
our shrieked message
can shatter
even the strongest walls,

Let us scream out
our own insignificance
into the void of the world
and find power,

We are all gods and goddesses
in our own rights
as is the world,

But do we heed this primal knowledge
or let it fade away
as others seek to
subvert our thoughts
and tell us that
divinity lies outside?

Shall we let them,
my fellows,
tell us who
and what is divine?

Shall we let them
tell us that
the beauty of the woods
where the trees dream
of times long past
are not divine?

Shall we allow
them to deny us
to see our whole world
as the divine thing it truly is?

Do we buy into their lies
that Heaven is
outside of earth
and humankind?

I reject their lies
my comrades
so I take up my guitar
and I scream
as a corpse
for a world that is lied to,

I howl in sorrow
for a whole people
lied to by selfish men
who tell us that
outside of the world
lies the kingdom of heaven,

I'll scream it to the stars
that we are all divine
and that we shouldn't
be followers
of anyone except
that which our own divinity permits,

Hear my words
Corpse Children
I'm screaming out
with the voices
of many long gone,

Know your own divinity
know your own power
know that you are strong
Corpse Children
Arise!

So yeah, that's what the fuck I've been writing lately. 

Poetics

So yeah, I've been busy writing poetry on Lit Kicks. I figure I should probably post the stuff here too, just so the place doesn't look so barren. And you can bet your boots that I'll be posting the best ones as PDFs on DA in the summer. I just realized that I'm going to be one busy motherfucker in the summer. I've got some music projects lined up for then too, and hopefully I'll be able to work my electronic music software, and if not I'll use Audacity or some shit. So my Soundcloud will have stuff on it too.

Anyway, here's one of my poems, "Sunrise Library". Oh also I'm poetpunk on Lit Kicks.

Sunrise Library
by poetpunk
2012 April 09 10:46:01

Step through the door
to the Sunrise Library
and indulge
in solar delight,

Open a book on the
Secrets of Sunbeams
or the tome of the
Moon Rainbow,

Lets delve
into the Archive
to see ancient
sunbeams that have
yet to pierce
the depths of space
to become a star on some distant planet,

But let's look beyond the basics
and in to the shadow of the Sun
and see a darker side of light,

Prying apart the folios and archives
to see how our so called "holy sun"
sears and slays it's own worshipers
whilst entropic decay has it's way
with the solar structure,

Slowly the Sun expands
and eats the messenger of
gods long since abandoned
and turns another into
a melting mess,

Ra keeps reaching out
from beyond the stars
but Apophis is a step
and a half behind
with entropic decay
and deadly gamma rays,

So it seems
the Egyptians
weren't so far off
the mark after all
for one day the sun will be swallowed,

But till then
let's enjoy this sunrise
from atop this
Heliopolis
named
The Sunrise Library.

Fucking Hell, School Starts This Morning

Fuck getting up early, seriously. Fuck being a morning person, and...I dunno even what the hell I'm typing.

But yeah, I have school till motherfucking 8 PM today. From 8:30 AM to 8:00 PM. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I hope your day turns out better.